The Study Ball will enslave your kids but doesn’t guarantee grades

by Gareth Mankoo

Now here’s something that comes right from the gallows. This is a modern ball and chain that’s made to get those stubborn kids pinned down, especially when the exams are approaching. It’s got an unlocking mechanism that works in accordance to a timer that can be set up to four hours (guess the makers are afraid of human rights activists getting on their nerves). Okay, now that we have that brat anchored in one place for a while we get the rest of the things done around. However, make sure that the spare key that’s provided with the device doesn’t fall into his hands. Else he may find release before you even know it. Also make sure that you don’t spend on buyng such a ball if you have a macho kid. This thing weighs 9.5 kilos, and can be easily moved about by some well fed piggy.

Now for the kids, you better be aware. Make sure your parents don’t land up on this page ever! Also, if you, by any chance, are subject to punishment by this cruel means then you can always fin refuge in doing the things you do best with your hands, since this is made to hold you by the ankles. And a last word of relief, your parents would not spend $116 on any punishing device. However, if you pledge to grow up and become someone like Charlie Manson then you have little choice.